Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Noah: 6 Months

So Noah is now 6 months old! Probably seemed fast since I just posted about his 4&5 months last week haha. But I feel like so much has changed in the past week since I posted that! It's crazy how fast things change with a little one.

First off, We've started with teething! It hasn't been as bad as i thought it would be so far (knock on wood). Noah seems to be spitting up TONS more now that he's teething (I have already been spit up on 3 times today), but it actually seems to be making him sleep better, which is a blessing. He had been going back to waking up a few times a night previous to this. He's definitely more clingy and cranky the past few days, but I don't mind him wanting to be close to me since he usually wants to be on the move.

(the real face of teething)

He has learned how to pull himself up to stand! He is loving doing this. He climbs all over me now trying to stand up. It's so fun to see him learning these new things, and once he does it one time he can't stop! He was so proud of himself the first time he did this!

We've been tasting foods here and there for a little while, but he's finally gotten into in more and is loving it! I've found that he loves the orange veggies, but is not so fond of anything green. He also loves pears and apples. Obviously it's still a pretty messy process haha. He loves grabbing the spoon right as i'm putting it in his mouth. He is also mesmerized by cups. He will stare at me any time I'm drinking water and when I let him take a little sip he is always so happy! (he does love eating...although this photo doesn't make it look like that haha....theething)

I know I already talked about this, but he is seriously LOVING Coco. Their relationship is the cutest. He loves to lick him and he loves to pull her hair and she lets him. It's nice to have constant entertainment for him!

Noah got a hair cut this week and is looking so blonde! When he first got his hair cut it was a little sad for me. He didn't look like my baby anymore haha. But now that I've had a few days to get used to it I am loving it! He is just the cutest kid!

This week has been a good one for me. I feel like I am finally really truly loving being a mom. I was talking with a friend this week about how when you become a mom you don't realize how hard it is going to be. I mean everyone tells you it's hard and you understand that the baby is going to cry a lot and you won't get sleep, but what you don't realize is that it is emotionally and mentally difficult. Even though I always wanted to be a mom, once I became one I had a really hard time with it. I never talked to anyone about this because it was the one thing I had always wanted. Being a mom has always been my top priority and I never would've imagined that it would be so difficult for me. Whenever people would as me if I loved being a mom before now I always felt like I was lying when I said yes...Obviously I LOVE Noah and sometimes I did love being a mom, but it has taken me a while to really feel like I am doing enough by raising him. For the first few months of Noah's life I really didn't see much come from what I was doing. Since breastfeeding wasn't working out I didn't have that joy of feeling like I was the reason he was growing so well, I didn't feel like I was helping him to gain weight because ANYONE could feed him. I didn't feel like I was enough because he really did prefer Tom to me for the first few months. With a husband still in school and me still in school it is hard sometimes to not contribute financially. 
When I was in Utah going to school and working I always was able to see the benefits of working (getting money). You get paid every week or two and you feel like you are doing something to be productive. But here, being at home, most days I am so busy watching Noah that I don't have time to do any housework. Tom comes home and I feel like I haven't done anything all day. The house is a mess, I haven't showered, and I haven't even thought about cooking dinner...and yet even though I haven't done any of this I am still exhausted. It's hard to feel like you are doing enough when you feel like all you do is entertain a baby all day. 
What I've had to come to terms with is that raising a baby is ENOUGH. Even if I can't do anything else all day it's okay. Because even though the house is a mess and I'm a mess Noah was able to feel loved and is learning from everything we do together. I am also learning to better plan my days so that I CAN fit in a little laundry and cleaning. I am still learning and still trying to become a better mother, but I feel like I truthfully can say that I LOVE it now. Now that we are getting into a routine (and now that my hormones feel more in check) and now that I feel like Noah has bonded with me a little more we are doing so much better.  Being a mom is truly a blessing and I am lucky to have this little boy. This turned into a much longer post than expected haha sorry.

I love this boy

Even though some days look like this....