For A long time now I've been praying and searching and hoping and wishing for answers as to where the heck my life is going...wondering if I'm at the right school, what I'm supposed to major in, if noteworthy is the right thing for me to be doing, what classes to take, and just if I'm doing the things I'm supposed to be doing at the point in my life...and i will admit...patience has NEVER been one of my virtues...although I've been really working on that lately. But there comes a point...after months and months of prayer when i begin to wonder if answers will ever come...or if maybe I'm missing them. Maybe i haven't quite figured out how to understand the promptings that I'm getting...or worse what if I'm doing something wrong? I always have faith that things are going to get better and that i will eventually know what i'm supposed to be doing with my life, but i hate the waiting. I hate feeling like i'm not going anywhere...I want to be doing something worthwhile with my time...I want to have a direction that i'm going in...not just this awkward stage between high school and a career...I want to find those lifelong college friends that everyone seems to be finding except for me...I want to be able to look at my life and say...yeah i like where this is going...
I just wonder if maybe i'm looking in all the wrong places for these answers...or maybe i already have them i just don't see it. Lately my goal has been to just "enjoy the journey" of life and try to be happy...but shouldn't happiness be something that i shouldn't have to work so hard to find? I know that there are always bumps in the road, but there should be smooth patches too right? I'm not saying that my life is all bumps...I do have fun and i do love a lot of great things in my life and I'm SO blessed, but I just wonder when i will actually feel good about what i am doing here and now...and when i will feel content and not feel like I'm just...waiting...for something to happen. Because i keep feeling like something is about to happen...and then...it doesn't.
I just have to say...thank goodness for mothers and their words of wisdom...my mom sent me an e-mail a little bit ago with some quotes...they help me get through the days. and maybe this is my trial for now...to learn patience...why can't i learn it now and be done with it? haha
"When we seek inspiration to help make decisions, the Lord gives gentle promptings.. These require us to think, to exercise faith, to work, to struggle at times, and to act. Seldom does the whole answer to a decisively important matter or complex problem come all at once. More often, it comes a piece at a time, without the end in sight" Elder Richard G Scott, 1989 Ensign
Elder Boyd K Packer - "Sometimes you may struggle with a problem and not get an answer. What could be wrong? It may be that you are not doing anything wrong. It may be that you have not done the right things long enough. Remember, you cannot force spiritual things. Sometime we are confused simply because we won't take no for an answer... put difficult questions in the back of your minds and go about your lives. Ponder and pray quietly and persistently about them.The answer may not come as a lighting bolt. It may come as a little inspiration here and a little there, line upon line..."
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2 comments:
First, I stand by my previous words of wisdom. That makes me sound so wisdomy. Second, again I say you are learning so much and a little or alot of patience. Third, you got some amazing news tonight...that just possibly might make it all worth it. (I will let you share that tidbit). Last but not least, Ka, Ka, katie beautiful katie your the only one that I adore....well you know what I mean. I love you.
I have felt that way a lot in my life. I know how difficult it can be to find your path. One thing I know is true, and that has helped me a lot, is the knowledge that the LORD doesn't waste our time. Sometimes we waste it, but He never does. Mortality is too short. Everyday there is something eternally significant to learn, some service to be done, some way in which we can grow. When we start looking for those opportunities daily, then every lame day becomes something spectacular. Knowing that helps me realize that where I am now is important, even if it is different than what I think it should be. We can feel fulfilled knowing that even in the hum drumn of boring everyday life, we are working for eternal growth. We are were we are for a reason.
Sorry for this exceedingly long comment of advice that you didn't ask for. It's just that when I read your post, I felt like I was reading something I had written so I thought maybe the answers I got might help you. I love you Katie. I know what ever you do, you will suceed and shine!
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